My Last Letter to You

  As I sit down to write this letter, I'm overwhelmed with emotions, memories, and what-ifs. I'm consumed by the memories of what we had and what we could've been. From the moment I met you, I knew I was in trouble - the kind of trouble that makes your heart skip beats and your soul feel alive. I was swept away by the possibility of us, of what we could be. But deep down, I knew you didn't love me enough. Your off-energy was a constant reminder that I was just an option, not a priority. Yet, I chose to ignore it, believing that someday, somehow, you'd come around. Someday, you'd see me, really see me, and love me for who I am. But someday never came. I held on to the hope that someday you would put in the effort, but that day never came.

In our relationship, your words were laced with promises of effort and devotion, but they remained just that – empty words. The countless times you whispered 'I love you' in my ear, but it was all a lie. The sweet nothings, romantic whispers, and forever vows were nothing but a facade. Your sweet talk was a mere illusion, a web of lies that I foolishly believed. Our late-night calls, which lasted 7-8 hours, and the countless hours we spent texting, all feel like a waste of time now. Because, in the end, you never truly loved me. Your constant appearances and disappearances in my life were draining. You left my messages on read, spent weeks without any interaction, only to return as if nothing had happened. Despite knowing that your behavior gave me anxiety, you showed no concern. You treated my heart like a hotel room, checking in and out at your convenience. Didn't you miss me even once during those periods Didn't you think of me, even briefly? Didn't you love me enough to care? Didn't you realize, even once, that you were hurting me? Did you ever consider my feelings?

I remember the excuses I made and the justifications I created to ease the ache in my heart. I was so invested that I couldn't see the truth. I recall when you said I deserved better, and I thought, "I deserve you." But now, I believe you were right. I truly deserve someone better - someone who will love me like I'm the only woman on earth. I wanted to be your everything, but to you, I was just an option.

You must think very highly of yourself. You believed I'd overhaul my entire being for your love – from my words to my wardrobe. That I'd transform into someone else - adopting your preferred way of speaking, thinking, and dressing. You even thought you'd control my social media presence, dictating my profile picture and insisting that I should maintain a private account, despite knowing I'm an extrovert. But that's not all. You tried to restrict my social life, advising me against making friends, socializing, or enjoying 'girly' activities, simply because you deemed them a waste of time. It's astonishing you didn't understand that loving someone means accepting them for who they are, not trying to change or dictate their every move. Your love comes with conditions, and that's not love at all.

I used to believe that your conversations with other girls were merely a ploy to spark my possessiveness, but I was mistaken. Now i realized i shouldn't be jealous, you aren't even mine. The truth is, you were never loyal to me or any other girl. Your actions were driven by self-interest, and you prioritized your own desires above all else. You are, and have always been, self-centered. Your actions were cruel, thoughtless, and selfish. You played with my emotions, and now I'm left picking up the pieces.

You've always told me that you won't leave me. I believed you, thinking it was romantic. But after being with you, I've realized that you're going to hurt me so much that I'll be the one to end this relationship, the one who'll walk out.

You knew your mom would never approve of us, that she'd never accept me because of our different castes. You knew the obstacles, yet you still pursued me, still professed your love, still wasted my time. You approached me, showed interest, and said you loved me, all while knowing your family would never agree. Was it a game to you? You spent countless hours texting, calling, and telling me how much you miss me. But what was the point? You knew it was doomed from the start. You strung me along, feeding me empty promises and false hope. And then, you had the audacity to talk about having kids with me. You strung me along, feeding me empty promises and false hope. Love, kids, a future – all lies. Why did you do this to me? Why did you pretend our love had a chance? How could you be so reckless with my emotions?

    I still remember the time I broke up with you. For two months, you bombarded me with texts, Instagram reels, and calls throughout the day and night. You even tried to reach me through different apps, but I never responded. During that time, I kept myself occupied to avoid processing my emotions. I reconnected with old friends, went on trips, attended meetings, and worked non-stop. But when my life returned to normal after two months, reality hit me hard. I fell ill with a high fever and spent days in bed, reflecting on what had happened and what could have been. That's when I realized you never truly loved me; you were just playing with my feelings. 

    Ugh, you know the WORST type of men - those who only want a relationship for their own entertainment, but can't commit to marriage! They're always making excuses, like 'I need time to establish myself' or 'I need to be successful first.' And when you finally break free and try to move on, they just WON'T LEAVE YOU ALONE! Same goes for you. You were always so eager to start a relationship, but only for your own entertainment! You never intended to take it seriously or commit to marriage. And when I finally gather the strength to break free from your grasp and move on, YOU WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE! 

Newsflash: I'm done with your lies, excuses, and manipulation! 

    I'm left to wonder... what did I do wrong? Was I not enough? Was I not beautiful enough? Was I not pretty enough? Did my appearance not meet your standards? Was my love not enough? Did I not deserve to be loved? Was I just a temporary fix, a fleeting moment in your life? Do I really not deserve someone who loves me for who I am? Someone who cherishes my quirks, my flaws, and my strengths? Someone who sees beauty in my imperfections? Was I just a convenience, a mere option for you? Did you ever truly see me, or was I just a blur in your life?

    As I say goodbye, I'm overwhelmed with grief. All I'm left with is a heart full of pain and a soul that's lost its trust. I'm letting go of the what-ifs, the maybes, and the hopes. I wish I could turn back time and make you love me, but life doesn't work that way. It's time for me to move on.